it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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