I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
