I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
