Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
