wanna go halves on a baby?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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