i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
