what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
