My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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