No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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