my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
