We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
