You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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