there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
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