I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
