That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
