Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
