My sheets look like a crime scene.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
