I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
