Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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