she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
