She's JV to your varsity
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Randomize
