yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
