Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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