Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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