turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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