this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
