he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
