Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
