i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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