Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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