so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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