We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
