i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
