i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize