My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
