Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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