My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
