I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
