Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
