I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
