Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
