Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
