is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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