she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
