Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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