drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
