If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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