just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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