yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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