just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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